Please dont grow up fast.

March 1 2015

I should be happy. Deliriously happy.

Yesterday you started pivoting on your tummy.

Like a wallclock needle, you followed your brother as he sang and danced around you..

He was happy.Yes. Deliriously happy..

Today, you gained more confidence. I saw you pivoting clockwise and anticlockwise in super speed..

And suddenly, you started moving.

On a wooden floor, in your footie, it looked like a little penguin, sliding on the tummy.

I should have been happy.

This is HUGE step for you.

But I had tears in my eyes.

Like I have tears in my eyes now.

You are growing up. Growing up fast.

Your elder brother, is living proof of how fast time flies.

He is almost as tall as me.

He was my baby. He will always be my baby. Or thats what I thought..

If only..........

As you sucked my breasts, your little hands cradling them, I kept looking at you, tears swelling up.

It was as if you understood. May be the flutter of my heart... May be the tears that dropped on you.. Yes you understood me.

You stopped and looked at me and smiled.
It was like a tiny bud, blooming into a smile.

It made me want time to stand still.

If only..

With your brother, I celebrated his every month of his birth day.

With you, I dont want to.

He keeps reminding me. But I dont want to.

Not that I am forgetting it..

But because I cannot get myself to do it.

I cannot get myself to face that, you are growing up so fast.

Seven months already.
Wasn't it just yesterday that I found I was pregnant?

You are now fast asleep.

Oblivious to mommy's tears or my fears.
Your every step is going break my heart a little bit.

Cant you be my little baby for a little longer?

Please dont grow up fast.